Extra! Special Malaprop Erudition

June 1, 2006

A husband and wife were engaged in landscaping their property. In order to maximize their landscaping dollar, the husband attended a botany seminar. The principal principle that he brought away from the class was the importance of planting pine trees early on in the process, so that as the needles and cones fell they would provide an economical fertilizer. Given that the landscaping project was to begin in the middle of winter, this benefit could not be accrued from a non-evergreen tree.

He was shocked upon arriving home to discover that his wife had already begun planting a row of maple trees. In an agitated voice, he told her, “We must conifer before any deciduous.”

Bonus: are you unsure whether it would be tactful to suggest to your irritable traveling companion that you are, in fact, lost? You may be heading in the wrong discretion.

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